Monday, 13 September 2010

Betting Scam Rocks Worlds of Art and Football

Caught on CCTV - The Offending Flag
Investigations are being conducted into a recent AFC Wimbledon match against Bath City in the Conference Premier, scene of a massive betting scam spread over four continents and involving millions of pounds.

Police and gambling associations around the world had their suspicions aroused when a number of large bets were laid predicting that Danny Kedwell, Wimbledon captain and crowd favourite, would kiss the club crest on his shirt. Such a gesture is usually viewed with suspicion and a degree of cynicism by Wimbledon supporters so the odds of Kedwell engaging in such an activity were considered remote and the odds were consequently long. The fact that he blatantly did so following his goal in the last few minutes of the game further alerted the authorities to the possibility that all was not as it should be and an immediate investigation was launched.

Attention soon focussed on a new piece of artwork hanging in the Tempest End. Highly visible throughout the ground, the confusing and enigmatic piece had caused much doubt and discussion amongst spectators who had been speculating as to the nature of the flag and the meaning of the central figure. Was it a ghost, monster or zombie? What did it have to do with the club at all? The artist Fleydon, controversial vexillologist and self proclaimed ‘bad-boy of the emulsion tester pot’', had evidently placed this new flag with no prior announcement. It was also swiftly removed at the final whistle before reporters from the Art & Artist Review had the opportunity to question him regarding meaning and content.

Gene Simmons - Unwitting Subliminal Trigger?
Investigators soon noticed that the central figure bore an uncanny resemblance to heavy-rock practitioner Gene Simmonds of the band KISS. However subtle alterations had been made to his usual stage makeup and investigators soon made out what they believed to be a coded message contained within the design itself. The more usual ‘Demon’ make up had been adjusted to resemble the AFC Wimbledon badge in what is now believed to be an explicit -albeit subliminal - instruction for Kedwell to “KISS – The Badge”

Licking Supporters. Not clever, not funny...
Although scientists studying the evidence were amused that the painting seemed to be licking a supporters head, they also emphasised that it was very wrong to encourage betting scams. They were anxious to emphasise that Danny Kedwell was apparently totally oblivious to the subliminal messages coming from the Tempest End and has subsequently been cleared of any wrong-doing.

Investigators are still seeking Fleydon and there are serious concerns that the success of his subliminal suggestions may encourage him to extreme measures during the upcoming home fixture against Crawley Town. Supporters are therefore advised not to look too closely at flags produced by Fleydon until they can be certified clear of all unconcious instruction.

1 comment:

Matt said...

Brilliant. One of my Favourites