Saturday, 29 March 2008

Composition in Rainbow Hues ('Trust')

"Up until this point in my career I had sneered at commissions, regarding the filthy lucre as tainted money that despoiled the pure fountain of art. However the impending divorce from my estranged Nigerian wife Constance left me somewhat...on the back foot. When the Dons Trust came knocking I was in no position to decline their generous offer"

Constance Fleydon is a shadowy figure in the early life and career of the artist and little is known about her, other than rumors that they met through an elaborate internet marriage scam that went badly wrong. Cited by many as an early muse she has, over the years, achieved a reputation in Fleydon mythology akin to a combination of Lucretia Borgia, Yoko Ono and Winnie Mandela, which is no mean feat for a woman of whom no known photograph exists. Fleydon's muttered retort that 'vampires don't leave an image' is an entertaining but fanciful explanation for her uncanny ability to maintain such a low profile

"The Dons Trust brief, such as it was, consisted of the phrase 'JOIN THE TEAM' - apart from that I was left to my own devices. What emerged was, to all intents and purposes, a fine example of inclusivity and harmony. A set of people of all hues and genders joining together to embrace, protect and empower the whole concept of AFC Wimbledon. A very tidy design, I think you'll agree. Certainly the clients were well pleased and the art world responded positively to the work, noting and enjoying the restraint that such a brief imposed upon me - I recall one buffoon remarking 'The wild rose clipped produces the sweetest flowers', which just goes to show what he knows."

Pulling on my tie to bring me down to his own, wheel-chair bound level he smirked and hissed his confession in my ear

"Actually I was pretty pissed off with Constance who fleeced me before running off and setting up shop with a newsagent called Hector. What made it worse was that Hector was a friend and ex-body model of mine I used in my 'Tom of Finland' phase and he was able to supply Constance with certain...err...'facts' that I didn't really want exposed to the tabloids, especially regarding my 'predilections' for engaging in certain 'activities' whilst wearing Dons garb. Not that we haven't all indulged, of course...just that some of us would prefer it kept under wraps, as it were. As part of the terms imposed upon me I was to maintain a silence over the details of the settlement. But there's more than one way to skin a cat - allegory and imagery are part and parcel of an artist's mental make-up. What the picture actually depicts is less a vision of gender and hue embracing a common cause, but my two 'face-less' friends the body model and the invisible woman, publicly hanging me out to dry just before dropping me altogether."

He shook his head ruefully before concluding

"As a wise sit-com character once remarked - 'Tricky chap, Johnny Marriage'..."

Composition in Rainbow Hues ('Trust') is the proud property of the Dons Trust, owners of AFC Wimbledon. It will be flown annually as part of the traditional 'Post-Voting' Membership Apathy Round-Up Festival.