Composition in Yellow, Blue and Spanish ('Frankie')

(Background – Following the announcement that club stalwart Antony ‘Frankie’ Howard was leaving the club for America, Fleydon was apparently approached by both the Cuban artist Jay Cee and a representative from the secretive but influential Kent Wombles association. Telephone records indicate that their radical proposal was for Fleydon to produce and lend his name to a flag designed by Jay Cee and to be commissioned and presented by the Men of Kent. To the surprise of many Fleydon appeared to accepted this minor role, especially in light of his recent comments that he “must be left free to plough my own damn artistic furrow – however wobbly it might be”. However events on the day belied this backroom status as Fleydon seemed to dominate proceedings with tannoy announcements, public signings, special all-access clearance to the President’s Lounge and the total usurping of the post-match award ceremony. This exhibition of preening self-congratulation and obsequiousness was of Winkleman-esque proportion as Fleydon took every opportunity of projecting and promoting both himself and his works in a shameless display leaving the assembled audience stunned and embarrassed. For some reason neither Jay Cee nor the Man of Kent were present for the ceremony and their current whereabouts are unknown. Relatives are highly concerned and appeal for anyone with information to make themselves known.)

The 'Commissioned Work' has a long and and distinguished history in the world of art - the Sistine Chapel being one of the more notable examples - but it came as a surprise to find that that Fleydon was happy to accept not only a commission, but also to work in collaboration with the Cuban artist Jay Cee. For an individual renown as having an ego the size of a Hillman Minx what, I wondered, persuaded him to contribute.

"I could say it was the stimulating need to justify my ideas to a co-worker; I could claim that a co-operative work was a suitable tribute to a great servant of the club; I could claim that it was the challenge to work within prescribed limits that intrigued me. However, to be honest I figured that I wouldn't have to do much myself as passable flag had been designed already (and lets face it I'm far more famous than that Cuban lothario and every one would think it was my design anyway). There was a good chance the finished work would end up on the box with my name associated with it and a good chance I would probably appear in the next matchday programme. I had heard that 'Hello!' magazine were sniffing around as well so with just a bit of extra effort on my part I reached a whole new market. From my point of view this was a win-win situation all round and, as they say, all publicity is good publicity!"

With a wink and a cocky-cockney saunter Fleydon moved on down the line to his next work leaving me both disheartened and disillusioned. Had being labeled "The World's Greatest Living Artist" finally gone to Fleydon's head? His willingness to profit from others hard work in order to make a quick buck reminded me of Salvador Dali, another of the infamous 'Fleydon Circle'. I felt obliged to reconsider my attitude toward this icon. Was Fleydon, in fact, less an artist and more an arrogant sh*t? Once the seed had been planted I found myself watering it with the corrosive moisture of doubt and with the genius removed Fleydon did seem to have more than his share of character failings

Composition in Yellow, Blue and Spanish ('Frankie') is presently on its way to the USA where it will be flown every 4th July. Since being signed by several Wimbledon luminaries the flag has rapidly increased in value and is currently insured for double figures.