Friday, 5 October 2007

16. Composition in Yellow White and Blue ('Ladies Night')

Fleydon's reputation as a 'ladies man', his famous 'tally-stick' of conquests, his voracious sexual appetite and his fondness of innuendo have all contributed to the legend that is Fleydon. But when standing before 'Ladies Night' a softer, almost tender side of his character emerges.

"This work should never really have happened. It never would have happened if it hadn't have been for a fleeting glance, a half-smile, a sight pout and a faint whiff of Essence de Jade Goody. I was a lost soul, my mind no longer my own, so when this vision sasheyed toward me, fluttered her lashes and asked if I would create a work for the Wombelles, well, instead of chasing her off with a golf-stick or bamboo garden cane I melted. There was no way I could turn her down. Who knew where it might end?"

For Fleydon it truly was a labour of love "of lust really, if you want to be accurate. But then you can't have one without the other can you?" Fleydon is reputed to have locked himself away for the duration of the painting, only emerging with the finished offering. "Yes, it really is an offering, like a Bower Bird I hoped to spread my wares at her feet and impress her with my plumage. Of course the work itself is awash with blatant sexual imagery and innuendo. 'Womb-elles' is obviously a reference to female fertility and it is no coincidence that the lady is perched on top of a 'cock'-tail with a plump 'cherry' beside her. I believe the cocktail itself might well have been a 'Screw-driver'..mmmmm....!!!"

By now Fleydon was salivating and it was disconcerting to note the thick, black, bristle-like hair on the back of his arms erect and gently waving like fronds of seaweed in an ebbing tide. As he hurriedly excused himself for a brief 'comfort break' we were left to ponder the identity of the mysterious dark-haired temptress that so obviously caught, and then broke, Fleydon's heart.

On his return Fleydon, now more his composed self, confessed that the closest he had come to fulfilling his dark intentions was to persuade the dark lady to sign the flag for him. But he put this singular act of pity to devastating effect. News soon spread that Fleydon had been openly flaunting the flag and signature as proof of his sexual prowess and magnetism. Outraged other Wombelles sought to 'camouflage' the Dark Lady's identity identity by signing their names as well. "It was the old 'I'm Spartacus!' ploy but really I don't mind too much as people assume that I've had carnal intimacies with all of them. Which of course I have...Would you like to see my 'Tally Stick'?"

Composition in Yellow White and Black appears with kind permission of the Wombelles Temperance Society and Glee Club.

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